Bee Happy Homes - Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman

I am quite certain that Proverbs 31 is an impossibility!

“What?”, you say, “I came here to learn how to become a Proverbs 31 woman, and you’re telling me it’s not possible?”

“Yes, on our own, that is.”

I cannot keep a blog on Proverbs 31 without establishing the fact that apart from Jesus Christ, we can do nothing of real worth.  We depend on His grace to enable us.  We need His Word to teach us.  We must have the fuel of His Spirit to empower us.

As I take another look at John 15 this morning, there are three requirements to abiding in Christ that stand out to me. 

First of all, in verse 7+8, we are told that in order to bring glory to God and bear fruit in keeping with abiding, we will ask of the Father.  This assumes a definite discontent with status quot.  I am not encouraging an attitude of discontentment with the circumstances of our lives, but rather an attitude that is always seeking to move forward with God.  I am content with the modest income of our household.  We are abundantly blessed!   But I have been long praying and planning with God, inspired by Proverbs 31, at how I can improve that for the benefit of our family and ministry.  At this time, with small children, that means sticking to a budget, cooking from scratch, cloth diapers when needed, an outdated wardrobe, etc.- anything that will help the financial state of our family and ministry.  And I expect that in the future, at the right time, God will move us to the place where we can better provide for the needs of our family as well as give more to the needs of others.  This principle can be applied to any area of our lives really, for there are all different kinds of fruit that He has created.

Secondly, in John 15 we see that in order to bear fruit in keeping with abiding, we must keep His commandments.  One thing that ruins the atmosphere in my home quicker than anything, is when I pick up an unforgiving attitude toward someone outside the home.  We do not tolerate unforgiveness in our family, but I have realized lately that when I am angry at someone else’s wrong outside our home, it affects my family.  I must give up my right to be angry and forgive.  And this is the command that our Jesus highlights in this passage:  love one another.

Thirdly, the final verse in John 15 tells us that we must bear witness.  The fruit that we will bear is the testimony of how God answered those prayers and how He helped us to love by His Spirit and His Word.  This is why I think it’s important to tell my stories in this blog, as well as look at the truths in the Word of God, specifically Proverbs 31.  God works out His Word in the lab of our lives.  Others can see and taste of the goodness of the Lord when His Word is manifested or grown in our lives.  But in order for this to occur, the branches reach out to offer their fruit.  And so must we.

And so in light of this, how do we bear fruit specifically in becoming a Proverbs 31 woman?  Well, it begins with prayer.  As I read the passage, I pray that God will make that happen in my life.  “God, help me to do my husband good and not evil all his days.  God, show me how I can help Jeff to become a leader at the gate.  Help him to have influence in the church, the community, and the world for good and for Your glory.  God, help me to teach my children that they belong to You.  Help me to rise early.  And on and on…”  Then we make sure that we are in the love of God, not quenching the Holy Spirit.  And when we fail, we repent quickly, seeking reconciliation.  Then we tell our testimony.  Listen to what God did in my life and He can do the same for you.

I think this is how we grow in becoming a Proverbs 31 woman.

How has God grown you in Proverbs 31?  Share your story in the comments here.  We need your encouragement. 

“I am the vine, you are the branches;  he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit;  for apart from Me you can do nothing.”            John 15:5

The birth of our first child was truly a miraculous event.  When she arrived, her spirit filled the room.  We were so happy to have her in our lives.

But her birth was not so easy.  They had a hard time stopping the bleeding, but it got under control enough for the midwife to send me home after the allotted five hours in the birthing center. 

The next year and a half was very difficult.  I bled almost every day, and was in constant pain.  I also had infections and a major injury to my neck.  At times, I could not raise my chin off of my chest.  Looking at the stars was an impossibility. 

We did not have insurance, but we knew God would provide if He wanted me to go to a doctor.  But He had taught me to seek Him first and wait for His leading;  otherwise, there would be no help found in seeking out medical help.  Jeff fasted and prayed.  He strongly sensed the Lord speak to him that I had a tear in my uterus and that I was not to go to a doctor at this time. 

I lived with this constant pain, but told no one.  I think some people may have judged me lazy or something akin, but I did the absolute best I could with the strength I had.  And I found ways to manage.

After about a year and a half of this, the Spirit of the Lord came to me asking if I was ready to have my next baby.

I laughed out loud.

Then I said that I would need a couple of days to think about that.

The next day, I went before the Lord and said, “Okay, but You have to heal me.” 

I knew that in my current condition, my body was not able to sustain a pregnancy.  Well, very soon (that day or the next), I received a postcard from a ministry in Texas that was full of references to healing scriptures.  During Joy’s nap times for the next two days (4 hours total), I read out loud the entire passages including the healing scriptures.  I did not do it as a religious exercise.  But rather, as I heard the passages read, I met my faith with them.

As soon as I finished, the bleeding stopped and the pain was gone!

I then had my first cycle, and the next month I was pregnant.  What an amazing, powerful, loving, awesome God!

Josiah Aaron was born on a beautiful, quiet Christmas morning, an almost perfect birth.

Thanks God.

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.   Romans 10:17

i remember joy

like a spring whose waters are

cooler than the main stream

joy rises up to meet the heart

and refreshes the soul

i remember joy

like a flower whose pedals are

stronger than the pouring rain

joy remains open even as the

sky is falling

i remember joy

like a friend whose presence

is greater than an angry world

joy enters in to comfort the

tired and weary one

Written 9-16-01 as a tribute to the suffering of those affected by 9-11-01 and the suffering experienced by my family of origin through the beginning of my precious Mom’s illness. 

My first child, Joy Esther, was born 9-21-01.

I am in the process of adding a page for every verse in Proverbs 31.  Each page will simply be expounding on that verse.

After studying or thinking on this passage almost daily for over eight years, I am by no means an expert, but I have found some things to say that you may find helpful.  It has been helpful to me to narrow it down to the nitty gritty of how to apply Proverbs 31 to my life today.

Just click on the links to each verse at the top of the page.  The passage in it’s entirety has been copied from Bible Gateway and added for easy reference.

Proverbs 31 is full of truth about reaching the orphan, teaching our children, avoiding entrapments like immorality and addiction, how to be a helpmate and homemaker, fearing the Lord, business, ministry, and so much more.  Proverbs 31 gives us a close up look at how to be an excellent wife and a strong woman.

Happy buzzin as you gather sweet truth with me from this beautiful, colorful display of God’s heart for women.  And don’t wait for me to finish my work.  Explore this wonderful passage yourself, too.

As the National Day of Prayer approaches, I have been inspired by various speakers on the radio, especially Charles Stanley.  So this morning I got up five minutes earlier in order to have five minutes more to pray.  Well, it made all the difference in my day.  I had more strength, better health, and a brighter perspective.  I was able to work a little here and there, do more activities with the boys, and give them more of the attention that I want to give.  And I sensed God reaching out to me in personal ways.  He also was assuring me through a book that He drew me to read during nap time that my daily prayers are making a difference.  Daily pleading the blood of Jesus over my family and asking Him to send angels to minister and keep safe is bringing God’s protection.

About an hour before Jeff and Joy returned home, I got really tired and icky feeling.  I guess I should have got up six minutes early.  But when Joy Esther got home, she had a story to tell that would encourage and revive this Mama’s heart.

You see, my little Esther was playing on the playground with her good friend Devon, when the bad boy in class (who shall remain nameless), threw a rock at my little girl.  Joy, wearing her brand new light pink skirt with pink tights and dress shoes, quickly ducked to the black dusty ground screaming for Devon to do the same.  Devon did not hear or heed the warning, and was struck in the head.

Now I do not know the severity of Devon’s wound, but in the minds of this class of kindergartners, Devon was dying. 

Joy Esther called her friends together to pray. 

Two of the boys would not join them, saying that they wanted Devon to die.  But many others did join Joy in praying for Devon.

Devon was taken to the nurse and bandaged, later to return to class. 

An answer to prayer.  Wow.

When I was pregnant with Joy, I felt like God spoke to my heart that this baby would be used to bring prayer back into schools.  I was humbled and honored, but not surprised, for her father (a school teacher) has that passion in his heart.   

When I felt sure I was to homeschool, I just thought I must have heard wrong.  If you read my post entitled Seed Wings, you are up on that story. 

Joy went on to tell me words that are deeply personal to me, that I will fearfully treasure in my heart.

Then we prayed together for Devon to get better and for the bad boy to come to know Jesus as His Saviour, as well as grow in becoming a gentleman.

It’s an awesome thing for God to work in your life, but words cannot express how I feel to see God work in my daughter’s young life.  Oh, and by the way, who cares about the skirt and tights!

Thanks Father God. 

Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai,

“Go, assemble all the Jews who are found in Susa, and fast for me;  do not eat or drink for three days, night or day.  I and my maidens also will fast in the same way.”                                                                  Esther 4:15+16a

Proverbs 31 shows a mother who is dedicated to teaching her children God’s ways.  For me, I have taken that to mean that I will homeschool.  I believe that homeschooling is a great choice for the christian family who is stable, loving, and disciplined.  I have had the good fortune to witness homeschooling work in such families.

At this time in our life as a family, we have made the difficult decision to put my six year old daughter into kindergarten and my three sons into parents day out two days a week.  With all the health challenges I’m facing now, along with just being very weak, I have not been able to take care of myself, my unborn baby, and homeschool.  I want my kids to be learning and growing each day.

I’m sure we will re-evaluate this decision often throughout their growing up, but for now, God has given me peace about my children through lessons from His Body, His Word, and through creation.

In being close to Mother’s Day, the topic of motherhood is being widely addressed now.  Chuck Swindoll’s program today on motherhood really touched my heart.  I remember two key things from the message:  to have vision for my children and not to smother them.  Focus on the Family had a guest speaker who spoke about a mother being as a manager of a team.  She is the one with the game plan, the one who trains the players, and the one who disciplines those who just want to be bench warmers. 

As I sat on my front porch last week, I observed the seeds falling from the tree in our front yard.  The seed, about the size of a lemon seed, is encased and has a long, thin “wing” to one side.  They are pretty and fun to fiddle with, but carry a greater purpose.  If the seeds just dropped below the tree and grew in that place, then they would always be under the shade of the parent tree, as well as share the same water.  Such a tree would never grow as big as the parent, for it would in fact be smothered.  But if there was something to help carry the seed over a ways, then that tree would have plenty of sun, space, and water to grow big and strong, eventually providing shade of it’s own.  Those little “wings” are just what is needed to catch the wind to freedom. 

Now my daughter being only six, as I pondered these things, I resisted the idea that these truths applied to our life now.  But later that day, my daughter asked me about the “seed wings”.

Okay, maybe.

Joy has a very strong personality, many gifts, and growing character.  Maybe going to kindergarten is just what she needs to keep growing.  And she is doing so well!  And so are my sons!

The Proverbs 31 woman has maidens who help her.  Thus, she has freedom herself to go about in business and ministry, all to the benefit of her husband and family.  But, she always remains the children’s teacher.  Maybe I can see school teacher’s as maidens.  Though they will not be doing things the way I would, their primary job will be to teach language arts and math, etc., not knowing God.  Jeff and I are envisioning now how it may be possible, that under these circumstances, I could be an even better teacher.  I will not be overwhelmed, and may be able to give more focused attention, even to the end of the day when I usually peter out.  And maybe they will learn from a better example, for I will not be so tired that I am easily frustrated.

Just a note of caution, I do believe along with James Dobson, that to put children in daycare under eighteen months of age is dangerous.  Of course, there are single moms who have no other choice, but if at all possible, there is no replacement for the mother during this crucial time.

I think the point is keeping the vision in mind.  What is the end result that we are after as parents?  What are we working for with God in order to achieve in the training up of our children?  The means to that end is more fluid.

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.                                                                    Proverbs 22:6

Note:  The school Joy attends is nationally recognized, with administrators, principals, and teachers who are predominantly christian.  This was a major part of our decision.

After returning from Jordan, I soon took a job for a family friend doing traveling promotions for Branson Theatre, a prestigious title for brochure stuffer.  This took me twice to beautiful Colorado, all expenses reimbursed.   The first trip my Dad insisted that I needed him to go with me.  He had made up his mind, so my independence bowed to fatherly protection.  How I wish in hindsight I had found this refuge more often.  We stayed at our first Days Inn in a small town, where we attended church in a converted gym on Sunday morning.  The mix of old hymns and contemporary worship was perfect for this pair of God’s children.  Dad had not been in church in years, with the exception of one or two visits to Indiana Ave Baptist Church (my college church) in Lubbock, TX, and my heart was thrilled to be by his side.  We made the rest of our rounds and ended up with an ascent to the top of the Royal Gorge.  The air was much too thin up there for this near asthmatic, but it was beautiful.  My memory fails me, but I think we crossed the gorge in this little car on a string (cable).  I just can’t imagine Dad’s 300 something pound frame on that thing.  We bought some souvenirs, and we were off, from what was a fairly uneventful (calm) trip. 

My next trip to Colorado on prestigious promotions at every local Wal-Mart entryway was not as smooth.  I hope I’ve learned that going it alone is not the best thing to do.  I guess that’s the like-an-only-child explorer in me, who used to take off across the countryside at the ripe old age of 4.  I planned to stop at the first major town and stay at my beloved Days Inn.  It was near midnight, and I remember wondering if hotels closed their doors at a certain time.  Not being a veteran traveler, I should have checked ahead of time.  I had never had trouble before.  But now the roads were under a major reconstruction and every hotel in town was booked with construction workers.  I resorted to going to the really nice looking Holiday Inn, knowing I would have to make up the difference from my hotel allowance.  They had one standard room left.  Swshoo!   

Up the stairs in the indoor courtyard with my one bag, I eagerly entered my room with one double bed.  But oh, they must have forgot to turn on the heater because it was cold.  Now, there’s not many things in this world that I hate worse than being cold.  That is one reason I’m so thankful God sent me to Jordan and not to Russia.  So I turn the heat on high and wait.  But nothing but cold air is blowing in my personal icebox.

I called the front desk, desperate, but calmly polite.  A short man came to my room promptly to inspect my unit, and then informed me that I’d be changing rooms.  He then led me to the executive suite!  This room was huge, equipped with jacuzzi tub, kitchenette, and large living room.  And it was warm. 

After enjoying a nice rest, I moved on up the interstate.  The day ended up on the mountain as I had planned.  I found a lovely row of cabins next to a creek, with evergreen pines in the backdrop.  My room had country decor, a fireplace, and a sliding glass door overlooking the creek.  I got my complimentary firewood in the office, built a fire, and cracked the door just enough to hear the gentle roar outside, and settled in to a nice quiet time with the Lord.

Driving through this state is probably always beautiful, but it was especially so now, as the trees had turned a brilliant red.  Local scientist said that they could not explain why this happens, because these trees do not have a red pigment.  However, they did know that it occurs after having extreme hot temperatures followed by extreme cold temperatures (or vice versa-I can’t remember).

And so the next day should have taken me back down the interstate and toward home.  But my little four cylinder mustang did not seem to like all this mountain climbing.  Thus it ended up in the car hospital, and I payed for a room in an adjacent motel.  I entered the smoke filled, teeny tiny room with bare white walls, but could only breathe for a couple of minutes.  You see, smoke is one of the other things in this world that I really hate.  I told the manager and he brought in an air purifier, but my nasal passages were quickly closing, and I had to get out quick.  He generously gave me a refund, and some kind people drove me to an average hotel in town. 

My car was fixed by morning, and I was back on the road.  But not for long.  It started to shimy and shake again, so I exited just in time to coast into a police station parking lot.  I placed a note on the windshield, walked to an icky hotel down the way, and in surrender, called my Daddy. 

As I waited for him and my Mom to come to my rescue, I packed my backpack and was off to climb the nearest rock.  (I guess I had one bag and a backpack.)  After ascending to the top, I settled in to listen to the Lord.  I don’t recall now the verses that I read, and my notes are somewhere in a box in the shed, but I do remember the point of it all. 

To my heart God spoke that just like He made those beautiful red trees that confounded the scientists, so was He making my life beautiful through the extremes of my circumstances. 

Oh.

Knowing it was time to go, I headed back, arriving just in time to meet my precious parents.  Mom, having a nack for adventure herself, wanted to stay and explore new things.  However, Dad’s wisdom settled us in to another night in the not so lovely motel, in order to obtain a car dolly and be off in the morning.  And we would be thankful later, as we heard on the news that a massive blizzard had been delayed by one day.  We got out just in time.  Swshoo!

“How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful you are!  Your eyes are like doves.”                                                     Song of Solomon 1:15 

We moved into our first home in October.  Sometime in November I was reading again the account of Abraham and Sarah, or Abram and Sarai before their name changing encounter with the Living God. As I was reading through the part where Sarah is promised to have a son that same time the next year, the Holy Spirit seemed to be strongly speaking to my heart that I would have a baby next fall.  Oh my lands, here we go again! 

Well, I tried to ignore what I heard and just go on with getting settled.  And after moving four times in five months with four little ones, I was ready to do just that. 

Then the day came that I was hanging pictures in our bedroom.  Not many, just a wedding picture, a wedding prayer, a small bulletin board, a large paperboard of favorite scriptures my Mom had written, and my Garden of Gethsemane painting that I purchased in Jordan.

There’s a story even in the purchase of that painting.  Amidst the spiritual darkness of this self-proclaimed “open-minded” country, we walked into a little office, the details of which must remain undisclosed.  There was definitely light in this place!  It’s purpose to share the gospel with those seeking.  A large cardboard box was in the small front room.  It was empty.  You see, it usually stayed empty.  It held donated Bibles that were to go to anyone who requested.  Many requested, and few donated.  We were later taken back to another smaller room where Hussein painted scenes of Jesus.  My roommate and I both decided to purchase one.  As I looked through the different scenes to choose from, I prayed earnestly that I would receive the one God wanted me to  have.  I ended up choosing a portrait of Jesus giving thanks to the Father before feeding the 5,000, for I was trusting God without fear to provide for all my needs.  However, when we received our paintings a couple weeks later, I had been given Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Okay.

During my summer in Jordan, we made a long weekend trip to Israel.  Wonderful!  I had visited this garden, the garden where Jesus prayed to the Father before being taken to the cross. 

Up until this point, I had embraced sufferings and trials because of the good that I saw come out of them.  They helped me become more like Christ, and this is what I was after.  And when I study this subject in Scripture, it is clear that we will suffer if we follow Jesus.

Back in my bedroom, I pulled this painting out of the box, and decided that after ten years it deserved a frame.  So the next trip to Wal-mart obtained a rugged wood frame, too small to fit the off-size of the foreign made portrait.  But I would make it work. 

Later, as I sat in my bathroom looking out at it, the Holy Spirit began to stir in my heart.  Now I believe like my pastor, that 90% of hearing from God is from reading His Word the Bible.  But this was one of those moments when it was that gentle, quiet voice inside.  It was as if He was asking me if I was putting Jesus in the Garden away in my life as well.  In other words, I felt He was asking if I was no longer willing to suffer.  You see, the previous eight years had been almost perpetual crisis.  And now, I was under the much hoped for assumption that moving into our first home meant that I was settling into a nice easy life.  Ha! 

And immediately, I just knew that the issue at hand was having that fifth baby.  With all the trouble I have had bearing the first four, and I will probably share that later, I could not imagine having another one.  Was I willing to suffer again in this way?  Was I willing to walk down that road with the Lord in order to obtain by faith His revealed will for my life?  Was I willing to go through more pain in order to allow God to place this new and precious soul into now and eternity?  Was I willing to lay down my life?

Shellshocked and in desperate need of rest, I did not throw my hands up to volunteer.

But before the sun set on that day, Jesus in the Garden had come out of His frame, and now hangs bare on my wall.  I look at it as I write this, and if it did not endanger my life and this baby (I’ll get to that in a minute), I would weep. 

Trying to block all this out of my mind and tell myself that it was just my dramatic personality and wild imagination, I go on with life.  Christmas break comes, and the conviction returns.  Unable to find any strength within myself to obey, I turn to God’s Word, asking for something to hold on to if I agree to this seemingly unreasonable request.

He leads me to Genesis, to an encounter that Abraham has with God.  I like other versions better, but the NIV was the one I reached for in this moment, being the one on my nightstand at the time.  These words seem to fly off the page, “Do not be afraid, Abram.  I am your shield (or, sovereign), and your very great reward (or, shield; your reward will be very great).”  Genesis 15:1b 

Now I had been teaching the kids about the Sovereignty of God for the last 2-3 weeks.  But I’m sure the lesson was really for me.  And this verse was telling me that God was not only sovereign over all the universe, but He is sovereign over my life and body too.  God is in control.

Okay.

And thus, I was soon pregnant, with a due date in the fall.

Now will I trust Him?

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”

Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”                  Luke 9:57+58

Pursuit of the Proverbs 31 woman has been the hardest journey I have ever embarked on.  It is not for the weak willed.  Perseverance has been the key to forward progress, with a whole-hearted devotion to our Savior Jesus Christ as the only driving force.

Before setting out on this road, or even being aware of it’s existence, I set out to give my life in a foreign land.  Jordan is a Muslim nation, a desert region, far from the comforts and commonalities of our Christian land.  And if culture shock was not hard enough, getting along with near anti-Semitic fellow missionaries was.  With muslim calls to worship blasting from multiple minarets across our town of approx. 200,000, and men balking at us with vulgarities not even suitable for prostitutes, as well as secret police reportedly following our every move, I felt as if there was slime in the air.  It was like I couldn’t even lift my arms.  But we could sing.  And sing we did! (Jamie and I)

That summer we visited Petra.  That day, ordained for me before the beginning of time, still speaks truth to me now.  You see, Petra is so big, and we had only one day there.  So we had the choice to either climb to the heights (the place of sacrifice), or to travel to the far end of the city to behold the monastery.  Naturally, I chose the place of sacrifice, for in my youth, I embraced Christ’s call to suffer with Him, and to have a faith sanctified pure as gold.  Among our group of about 30, only 4 of us made this choice, I the only girl.  And up we went -up, up, up, up for what seemed would be never ending.  Every time it looked as if we would be at the top just over that rock, a whole new earthen challenge appeared.  Finally, after topping one such rock, my companions (or should I say counterparts?), said “forget this!”, and started back down the mountain.  For me, the thought of turning back at that point was absolutely out of the question.  I continued on, and wouldn’t you know it, it wasn’t that much further.  On top lied the altar, from where the blood of the sacrifice would run down to cover the sins of the inhabitants.  Though this was a pagan culture, the symbolism certainly causes me to think of Christ.  And here I was, following hard after Jesus, Psalm 45 my motive.  To love Christ and follow Him to the cross, this was all I wanted.  Then as I sat with legs dangling over the side of the enormously high cliff, in need of a healthy fear of heights, with my back pack loaded with Bible, Strong’s, and Bible Dictionary the only thing keeping me from plunging off, I hear the crow of a cock in the valley.  Instantly, my thoughts are turned to Peter, who seemed to think he could push forward with his bolden faith.  Or was it pride?  Hmm……………..  A gust of wind provides the fear needed to back up to safety, as I was joined by two foreign visitors.  I soon decided to descend, a little shaken by my encounter on the heights.  But my youth swiftly returned me to the valley floor, where I reasoned I could make it to the monastery too!  Setting out with a stride that I imagined could match that of my 6 foot 4 Daddy, I was confident I would see it.  Then a Bedouin man, who I had given a speech about just months prior in public speaking class, asked me if I wanted a ride on his camel for 7 denari.  I said, “la shukran (no thanks)” and kept the pace.  On his camel he led the riderless camel to jog ahead where he made her sit down.  I could hear her water starved joints creaking.  As I approached he said, “for you, tis free.”  So I jumped on board.  What was this farm girl from a small west TX town doing riding a camel with a Bedouin in a scene out of Indiana Jones and the Search for the Holy Grail (one of my favorite movies by the way)?  Just before the monastery was a small “convenience” store (or shed) where I ran in and bought us both a coke.  Then with a smile I stood at the foot of the monastery looking up at the remainder of our group descending this awesome structure carved out of rock.

The end of that summer brought tremendous trial, bringing me home bewildered and confused, none of which I prefer to write about now.  But I will say this, going to Jordan with a mindset of offering my life to God for this country was as climbing those heights.  And in the midst of accomplishing His will I was faced with my pride, followed by a stark humility.

And still, I love You Lord, I love You Lord, I love You.

In pursuing the Proverbs 31 woman, I have not even come close to the “heights”.  But turning back is absolutely out of the question.  Maybe now, older and weaker, I will find His strength to move forward, and a more mature love.

Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear;  forget your people and your father’s house;  then the King will desire your beauty;  because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.   Psalm 45:10+11

When I take a big picture look at Proverbs 31, I see that this woman is all that she is, in order that her husband can be a voice for the poor and needy. 

She is his helpmate.  That is the God-ordained purpose that she embraces, as she takes the wings of grace in diligent labor.  Her relationship with God has brought her to this place, and now all of her efforts are united with the godly man (in training) referred to in verses 1-9.   She does what she does, so that he can do what he does.  That is, in my opinion, the big picture.

How do you see it? 

Open your mouth for the dumb, for the rights of all the unfortunate.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.    Proverbs 31:8+9