You are my Sunshine

I was singing You are my Sunshine in the shower this morning.  I can’t sing or even hear that song without crying. 

You see, my Mama used to sing that to me when I was little. 

Mom was born again as a youth, but had sat in a traditional church for thirty-something years without growing an inch in her walk with God.  Then God got a hold of my life while I was in college, and began to transform it.  The last couple of years of college, I lived at home with my parents and commuted to college, due to an ex abusive boyfriend who was stalking me.  I would usually get home no earlier than eleven, and sometimes later.  Mom would be in her chair, with Bible open, and a list of questions.  “Why is pride bad?  I’ve been taught all my life that it was good.” or “Why do bad things happen?”  Night after night we enjoyed meaningful conversations over the Word of God.

Then she said to me, “I want to hear the voice of the Lord like you hear the voice of the Lord.  How do I do that?”

Well, we prayed and asked God to speak to her.

At some time while I was in college, Mom had a knee surgery to correct damage from a wreck she was in years before.  While in the hospital, I went down to the little gift shop and bought her a little wind up doll that played You are my Sunshine.  She treasured it.  Without going into it, because of the circumstances of my birth, I was one of her most prized possessions, and so this gift meant very much to her.

Sometime after we had prayed, my cousin Ronny was in the hospital fighting cancer.  It was very important to Mom to visit people in the hospital.  As she prepared to go see her, the voice of the Lord spoke to her saying, “give your Sunshine doll to Ronny.” 

Like mother like daughter, Mom’s first response was, “no way, are you kidding?” 

Jesus talked about a servant who said he would obey his master, and then goes away without obeying, and a servant who says no, and then ends up obeying.

Well, Mom grieved over the request, and then decided to obey.

Upon receiving the doll, Ronny wound it up, and as it played it’s tune, she began to cry.  “Pam, I have had that song in my head all morning, and can not stop singing it.”

Joy replaced Mom’s grief, and she was never the same.

I told this story at Mom’s funeral and sang You are my Sunshine.  It was my way to honor her and to honor God and his work in our lives. 

I didn’t cry much the first year after Mom had left us.  I guess because God was so close.  But now there are times when Mom just seems to show up in spirit.  Like one day, which had been particularly hard, as I walked through Wal-mart, You are my Sunshine came on over the speaker.  I cried right there next to the bagels. 

I have a vase full of roses from Mom’s rosebush lovingly placed in my kitchen right now.  Dad gave them to me yesterday.  On his birthday in April, Mom’s rose bush burst into full bloom.  We enjoyed the thought of her and the sweet scent.

Oh how I miss her!

The words to You are my Sunshine say that you’ll never know dear how much I love you.  And I may never know this side of heaven.  But after having my own children, through somewhat miraculous means, I know better now her love for me.

I love you, Mom.

Now I will go on to sing that song to my children.

sun shining down on my budding family

Joy & Josiah, same day, @ Lakes Park

                                             

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